We don’t realize how much we love sleep until we aren’t getting enough. If you are a new mom, you’re probably experiencing all the feels, both physical and emotional. But one of the biggest problems you may experience is significant sleep loss during the first few months after a baby’s birth. What you are going through now is perfectly normal, even if it’s absolutely no comfort to hear that at all. 

First, understand that sleeping through the night is kind of a myth. Humans go through several sleep cycles, including being drowsy, falling asleep, entering REM sleep (when dreams happen), and being in a deep sleep, which is the most restorative stage and usually happens during the first third of the night. Being awake is also one of the sleep stages.

Getting at least two hours of deep sleep a night will make a big difference in how you function during these first few months, even if your total hours per night are not what you’d like. The best way to do this is to sleep when your baby sleeps. A few ideas:

  • As soon as your baby goes to sleep at night, grab a glass of water and head to your own bed.
  • Use a sleep mask if light distracts you.
  • Play some soothing ocean sounds on your phone (there are lots of free apps for this).
  • Have sex. Even if you’re not really feeling sexy right now, intimacy is good for you and can improve your chances of sleeping soundly.
  • You’ve probably read that you shouldn’t play on your phone right before sleep. The blue light can keep you awake, so plug it in for the night, turn it over, and ignore it.
  • Read something if it will help you fall asleep, but don’t read for too long or you can stimulate your brain to wakefulness.
  • Use a breathing exercise: Take a long slow intake of breath while counting to six. Hold for six seconds. Let the breath out slowly while you count to seven. Do this three times and then close your eyes and relax. This exercise may help reset your brain enough for you to fall asleep. It’s also good to use if you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep. 

If your sleep deprivation continues or becomes an impediment to taking care of yourself or your baby, talk to your healthcare provider.